Tonight, Prince Farming will sit in a room with all of his "ex-girlfriends": Reality TV Edition. (could you imagine if his not made for TV ex-girlfriends were also there?!)
It'll pretty much be a whole lot of tears and fighting from those no longer waiting for him to get down on one knee. I'm hoping for some epic #KaraokeCarly one liners. And for Kaitlyn to bring back the humor. Poor girl is probably still distraught, or jet lagged over #BrokenHeartedInBali
Whitney and Becca escaped the cat claws....we'll see both of them next week for AFTER THE FINAL ROSE
Superlative: Collectively cried the most tears compared to the entire Bachelor SERIES
Winners: #CrazyCounselorKelsey Britt. #KardAshleyian
***Ok, this corn/pig themed, super de duper farm party is awesome. However, do this many people really get together each week to watch the show?***
THOUGHTS DURING INTRODUCTIONS & REGARDING DRESSES
Nikki - WHO?
Trina - Again, who?
Juelia - she looks happy
Tara - drunk?
Amber - a partial who
Megan - SERIOUSLY? You're not 5. or Cindy Lou Who
Samantha - another partial who
Jordan - the re-visitor
Ashley S - Great dress!
Jillian - I still don't like you. You trashy!
Kelsey - BAD hair! And is that a cotton summer dress?
Britt - no more Bonnie Bell lip smackers lipstick? WHAT is she wearing??
Mackenzie - she left her Kale chip at home again
Ashley I - Still looks like a Kardashian wannabe (and why???)
Jade - blah. she looks blah
Carly - Adorable
Kaitlyn - looks poised
Jillian is just flat out gross.
It's going to go down between Kelsey & #KardAshleyian
It's going to go down between Carly & Britt
We are maybe 10 minutes in and the tears are flowing from the girls....or rather the fake tears are flowing!
"You acted like you were my best friend dude. Why?" -Britt
"Did you watch the part..." - Carly
"Can you answer my question?"- Britt
See, this is going to be fun!
HOT SEAT: Britt
Dear Britt, the Oscars were last week. No need to wear a gold dress to look like the trophy wife that you are not.
I think Jillian needs anger management.
Britt - deal with it. You were very black and white. You were one person with Chris and someone else with the girl.
Jillian - you are mean, leave Carly alone. She's nice...I can hear the meanness in your voice and I can see the anger in your face.
"Jillian, you're a little jacked up" -Chris Harrison
(who has spent way too much time in a fake & bake machine)
I'm still a fan of Carly. And I'm pretty sure Britt is upset because she's finally being confronted for her flip flopping on all issues. #BrittThePolitician
I'm pretty sure Britt is the only girl to cry without tears.
It's officially Jillian & Britt vs everyone else
"Coming up, the Bachelor himself faces all the women that he dated ... and made out with. How's that going to be?" - Chris Harrison's best line ever.
Britt goes back to her seat and MacKenzie is not amused. I mean her little Kale Chip is 2 so clearly MacKenzie is accustomed to dealing with fake tears and tantrums.
HOT SEAT: Crazy Counselor Kelsey
Buckle Up folks!
I still do not like how she told Prince Farming about Sanderson Poe.
Naturally the Guidance Counselor would start out with "I'm feeling..."
"I'm feeling like I'm grieving all over again" - Kelsey
#KardAshleyian has a priceless face when Kelsey utters those words
"What despair? You said it was an 'amazing story'" -Drunk Girl
And Chris Harrison hands over his hanky...and #KardAshleyian has an even better facial expression!
As crazy as Kelsey is, she really does articulate her feelings well.
Good job Juelia! You are also a widow - and a single mom - and you never played that angle with Prince Farming. Juelia informed PF in a great, real way. Not in a "get ahead" way. Point for Juelia!
Megan's Dad dropped dead running. Don't remember that. But good job for brining up that point about you and your mom watching.
HOT SEAT: Ashley S
Crazy girl. She's all about some pomegranate onions!
OMG Ashley S now grows onion!!!! This is tv gold!!!!
She really is funny....and even with Chris Harrison, she still has some serious blank stares!
The Accounting Department....because Ashley is bored....so she explores and sees the accounting department and decides they are betting. This is amazing! And Harrison plays along! Even better!
"What were the cats saying?"- Chris
"It didn't reply." - Ashley S
OMG PLEASE make Ashley S the next B'ette!!!!
"I like to ride bikes. I mean this is me. With the cameras around it's hard to not be silly. So while all of them were getting upset and crying, I was outside picking pomegranates, ya know." -Ashley
Harrison BEGS Ashley to join Bachelor In Paradise. I've never seen the show. But I'm sure it's going to be filled with onions!
HOT SEAT: Jade
I think she's still grieving. And I do not like her dress. At all.
Poor Carly is sad for Jade.
Jade is all for confronting Prince Farming.
And now that she has seen the episode and read his blog...she's ready to have an intense Q&A session. His words "absolutely crushed" her. Sad.
HOT SEAT: Kaitlyn
Oh dear. Kaitlyn, I like you. I do not like the crop top dress. But I mean Chris wore solid white the last time you saw him, so I guess good job??
Good for you for not being ashamed of anything!
HOT SEAT: Prince Farming
What the heck is on his tie???
He hasn't said anything yet and Britt is already fake crying. And now she's stealing all the time. So Carly is annoyed.
BRITT. GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you Harrison for practically escorting Britt off the stage.
Seriously though, what is on that tie???
Oh snap! Kaitlyn, you are one strong ex-girlfriend. Power to you for being so composed and not backing down! #Respect
Jade joins Chris on the hot seat. And Chris gets caught between real life and his People blog. The written word wins again.
Forget the whole season, Playboy is going to follow you around for life. #ThatIsTheChoiceYouMade
BLOOPERS
I would like at least an hour of bloopers each season. Can we please make that happen???
HARRISON WROTE A BOOK??????????? Oh goodness. This franchise is out of control!
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